Heidi on Logging Into Fangirltastic

I stole this picture off another blog!  Fuck them!

Heidi is such a wonderful and helpful person, if you have trouble logging into her site this is what she will say:

"really? What happens when you try to log in directly? Do you get an error message, or blank page? Let's try to figure it out and fix it so you can. ;) "

 

That crappy poem about footsteps in the sand was missing a verse at the end, after that asshole finds out it was God carrying him all those times when he only saw one set of prints he is contacted by an investigative reporter who found evidence that shows it was actually Heidi carrying him and God the whole time and that she is able to alternate between leaving two or four sets of footprints at will because sometimes she transforms into a unicorn.

Heidi Rules!

Kitty Krueger's Kitteh Show!

Deneen Melody rules!

Kitteh Scareh's Horror Hunks Month

In honor of Heidi Martinuzzi's vagina hole Kitteh Scareh is officially declaring May to be "Hot Cocks of Horror Month". 

We are asking all horror blogs to participate and write something about your favorite horror hunk, like Chad Michael Murray or Thom Matthews.

Here is Kitteh Scareh's list of our own favorite horror hunks, not listed in order of preference because they are all stone foxes:

1.  Tom Welling (The Fog)- The remake of the Fog is the worst piece of crap ever but is still worth watching to see Smallville hunk Tom Welling in every single scene.

Tom Welling

2.  Chad Michael Murray (House of Wax)- Chad Michael Murray is hot in a grimey kind of way, kind of like his character Nick in "House of Wax".  He is a total badass and kills people with crossbows.  Fuck you if you actually think "House of Wax" was a bad movie. 

Chad Michael Murray

3.  Jared Padalecki (Supernatural, House of Wax, Friday the 13th)-  A lot of girls call themselves scream queens but they are boring cunts that never did anything that cool.  Jared Padalecki is the Scream King and he blows all those whores away, even Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Jared Padalecki

4. Thom Matthews (Return of the Living Dead, Friday the 13th VI)-  Tommy Jarvis fucking rules!  Thom Matthews is an old school horror hunk and the Jared Padalecki of his day.  I long for the day when some young horror director decides to bring him back and make him a star again, if Jeff Fahey can come back why can't he?

Thom Matthews

5.  Jeff Fahey (Psycho 3, Body Parts)-  Jeff Fahey is enjoying a resurgence in his popularity right now due to two amazing performances in Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror and Machete but who can forget how hot and creepy this hunk was back in the day in awesome movies like Psycho 3 and Lawnmower Man.

Jeff Fahey

Okay hope you enjoyed my list of horror hunks, if you post your own please link me so I can read yours.

:)

Kittehal Activiteh: A Serial Story by Jeff T. Kane PART 3

Doc Kitteh woke up in the dark.

The clock on his nightstand read four A.M. 

Doc Kitteh had not slept well, not since the demon, and the jet lag didn't help.  It was why he'd sworn off going to Paris in the past, before the demon.  He'd traveled enough during his kitteh life.

Doc Kitteh retrieved the small vial of catnip he had packed into his manicure kit and sniffed, waiting for that tiny wave of peacefulness it brought over him, so fleeting, but just enough to keep it so that the hesitation marks on his fluffeh kitteh wrists remained that way, marks of hesitation, just a step towards the threshold of suicide then a quick step back.  Like doing a nutty little fox trot with death himself, a totally hot kind of death like Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black, a stone fox of eternity.

Surfing the channels the only decent thing Doc could find to watch was some American movie with Adam Sandler, he was playing this guy that'd lost his family in 9/11.

In one scene he is crying and talking about how he sees his wife and daughters everywhere and how he even see the stupid dog's face in the face of every other animal.

Doc Kitteh couldn't help it, he started to cry along with Adam Sandler, he knew it was true, Doc Kitteh saw the stupid dog's face everywhere. 

He saw it being torn off by the demon.

Doc Kitteh cried into his pillow and could not remember when it was he fell back asleep but a knock from the concierge woke him up about noon.

Upon opening the door Doc Kitteh was presented with a small envelope.

"What the fuck is this?" said Doc Kitteh.

"A letter Dr. Kitteh."

Doc slammed the door and tore open the small pink envelope.  Inside was a small card with a lily printed on it.

Doc Kitteh's heart sank as he read the inscription, "What part of best friends forever did you not understand?  Forever is forever.  Yours always in friendship, Eric Bana."

"Fuck," said Doc Kitteh as he smushed his paw against his eyes, blacking everything out, trying as hard as he could to make the world go away.

To be continued...

Kittehal Activiteh: A Serial Story by Jeff T. Kane PART 2!

The call had come two days ago. 

The demon was haunting a French villa for months now, possessing one of the family's teenage daughters and turning her into a hardcore fuck machine, he'd fucked his way through about forty stinky Frenchmen already.

The demon had forgotten about California already.  The party he'd had there, ripping off that yuppie douchebag Micah's head. 

It had all been so easy, so fun, no cats, no "kittehs" as those fucking sick monsters sometimes called themselves.

Then the call had come.

"I'm coming for you faggot.  Meow meow meow."

Then today they had found the demon's associate, Demony Jones, they found his head in a dumpster behind the US Air Terminal at the Paris airport.  The horns ripped out of his head.

Kitteh fur stuck in his empty eye sockets...

To be continued...

Kittehal Activiteh: A Serial Story by Jeff T. Kane

Part one:

The demon had bide its time, waiting for when Doc Kitteh had been sent to the groomer's.

Over that weekend, without the cat around, the evil coward had slaughtered the entire family, the baby Hunter, even the stupid dog.

Doc Kitteh had spent weeks at the groomer's until they transferred him to the animal shelter.  They had tried to adopt him out, even writing some sob story on the info card that hung off his cage door about how his family had been murdered.

Doc Kitteh had gotten tired of the whole shelter deal  so he broke out with some other cats and found his way back to the house in the valley.

Someone had scrubbed the place and put up a For Sale sign but under all the bleach and paint Doc could still smell it, the baby's blood, the dog's blood, and that other shitty smell:  that burnt orange smell of demon cum.

Doc Kitteh locked on to that scent with his kitteh sniffer and he looked at the dog's picture hanging over the litterbox and said to him, "I promise you, I'm gonna find that demon and kill him and all his associates too!"


To be continued...

Bring Meh the Head of Andrea Kirk!

Die die Andrea Kirk!

Kitteh Krueger will pay two cases of Fancy Feast to any kitteh that brings him the decapitated head of Andrea Kirk.  If you are a kitteh in the Pennsylvania area where she lives it will probably be easier for you than other non-local kittehs.

If you prefer Sheba to Fancy Feast that is totalleh cool but Andrea Kirk's head MUST be fully seperated from her shitty little body!

Kitteh Krueger Blood Origins #1: Enter Ace McClit