Kitteh Scareh Reviews Heidi Martinuzzi's "Wretched"

"Wretched" is a short film written and co-directed by Heidi Martinuzzi.  I'm sure there were other people involved in making "Wretched" but these people are not Heidi Martinuzzi so they can be quiet (along with all the HIV people, if you have HIV please be quiet!). 

"Wretched" is set in a Californey style diner, which unlike the diners here in NY, don't seem to be filled with swarthy foreigners slurping down Polish sausages.  Everyone in this Californey diner is clean and white.  :)

"Wretched" focuses on a lady (played by some lady) eating at the diner with her husband (played by Joe Bob Briggs of TNT's Monstervision).  From their conversation we get the idea that the husband is mildly abusive, one of those stupid dicks that has to make shitty comments about everything.  The lady seems like some kind of housewife and is obviously very loneleh like a lost kitteh.  :(

We learn just how loneleh and lost this kitteh is when she gets up to use the bathroom.  The scenes here in the bathroom are totally gross, but well done,  they give you a look into what is probably going whenever your wife gets up to use the bathroom during dinner (unless they are going there to answer a text from the well-endowed black guy they are banging behind your back).

Unfortunateleh this kitteh isn't fucking any blacks behind her husband's back.

Her secret is bulimia. 

I found the portrayal of vomity girl behavior in this movie to be verreh accurate and disturbing, especially as it relates to her husband's increasing verbal abuse.  The lady playing the lady was excellent and so was Joe Bob Briggs except for the fact that it is hard to believe he could actually be married to a female human. 

Joe Bob Briggs, through no efforts of his own, exudes some sort of strange asexuality from every pore.  I can't even say asexual is the right word to describe the essence of Briggs, it's more like by the looks of him you would assume he was born with no genitals or anus.  It's like his only form of sexual expression/waste excretion is through sneezing bursts of pink glitter out of his nose. 

I would have to imagine, based on my viewing of "Wretched", that Joe Bob's form of masturbation involves inserting a Pixy Stix into his belleh button while watching a worn out VHS of "The Last Unicorn".

So anyway...

Using the same rating system used on The Real Stuff Cats Like I will have to give "Wretched" ten Merrie Swains out of ten Merrie Swains.